I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize