just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
do herpes really smell.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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