I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
