I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
