If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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