maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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