WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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