So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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