Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
