So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
