It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
