somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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