Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
