Nicole vs. Life
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
