I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize