So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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