I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
