i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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