i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I didn't notice because vodka
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
