and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
