I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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