Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
