you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Mom said you looked used
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
