are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
