Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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