I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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