i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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