I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
