Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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