There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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