You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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