My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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