You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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