Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
