i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
3 2 1 whiskey
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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