It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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