I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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