what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I currently don't understand fingers.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize