We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
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I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
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I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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