He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Can I color on your dick again?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We need a shit load of segways right now
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize