we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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