New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
