GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
