he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize