Nicole vs. Life
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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