I am puke
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
