Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
