I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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