you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
