Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
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She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
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Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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