I wannas sexs uuuuu
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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