great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
