Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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