It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I smell stomach acid.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
