I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize