Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize