I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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