no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
