38 yer olds are good kisserssss
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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