yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
