Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
