I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
