I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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