I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
